Love in all forms? or Love with reservations?

The recent interview of Ms. Alma Moreno (an aspiring candidate for the 2016 elections) has caught the attention of so many netizens about her inability to answer the questions that were thrown at her by a local TV host, Karen Davila. One of the most famous part of the interview was when Alma had hesitations about her stand on the government funding the contraceptives in relation to the RH Bill – “Yes in all forms or Yes with reservations?”

On the same night, I was also chatting with my girlfriend over Facebook. We usually spend at least 3 hours asking about how our day went and our plans for tomorrow, but this time, she was quite different. In the middle of our conversation, she asked me to rate how I love her in a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest).

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I said “10”

She Said, “sure?”

I said “Yes”

She Said, “yes in all forms, or yes with reservations?”

Although our conversation may sound hilarious, I wanted her to understand the concept behind giving her a score of 10. I’m not an expert with relationships, but let me explain why?

It has become part of our culture to ensure survival. We commonly hear people say “Mabuti na yung sigurado” because we do not want to end up bearing all the pain of a broken relationship without even realizing that our selfishness can be the main reason why a relationship didn’t work out. One of the reasons why most dating couples fail is because one or both partners make reservations towards their partners. They are bound by fear of commitment, insecurities, and doubt so they leave a little space to ensure their survival. The truth is, Love is either “loving wholeheartedly or it’s not love at all.” So, how can we confidently give a rating of 10?

  1. Wait for the right time – It’s not yet the end of the world. You can wake up without having someone to call you in the morning. You can eat your breakfast without having someone to feed you. You can work without having someone to constantly bug you with “I love you” and “I miss you”. You can sleep without having someone to kiss you. If you think you wouldn’t be able to live without having a physical “someone”, you probably need a pet and not a husband/wife. Your goal of entering a relationship is not about what your partner can do for you – but it’s about what both of you can build to fulfill a purpose. Real relationships are not made by magic but it’s made by both partner’s trust and confidence. Here’s a tip – do not commit to your partner if you are not 100% sure about how you feel, and do not go on a relationship if you do not have plans to marry him/her. After all, your goal as couples are not short term, but long term commitments.
  1. Make God’s love a baseline – When God sent his Son Jesus to die on that cross, there were no reservations. He made it in full surrender and has sacrificed for our sins. There’s no other manifestation of God’s love to us than Him laying down His life for us. He did it without hesitations because He know that it is the will of His father. There was faith when He has fully accepted the decision. When you realize by heart how God has wholeheartedly loved you, it’s going to be easier for you to love your partner wholeheartedly because you’ll know that there is a purpose and you have faith about the good thing that is about to happen.

Getting hurt is part of a relationship because you can’t have all the joy in the world. In the same you, you can’t have all the pain in the world. If you realize the purpose to every achievement and every failure, moving on to the next stage will be easy. Trust is an essential part of every relationship so don’t just give it half full. It’s a key to open a door of every relationship. So the next time you are caught up in a situation clothed with hesitations, remember only one thing – “God is Love”

“Greater love has no one this, to lay down one’s life for His friends” John 15:13