A lot of people were asking me two of the most controversial questions at my age – “Are you now in a relationship?” and “When are you planning to get married?” These two questions kept bothering me for the past few weeks and as the days go by, more and more people are becoming more aggressive to know if I have ever been in a relationship or have plans of having one to begin the “marriage process”, which they tag as an essential for guys who are at their adult stage (I mean ages 28 to mid 30’s). Because of this constant reminder, I was able to recall the last time I’ve got myself involved in a relationship. It was about seven years ago, when I last fell in love and the break up was very hurtful.
We all have this one moment – this very hurtful moment when we experience pain at its finest and the hardest part about hurting us is our inability to move on. Many people say time will heal the pain and moving on is going to be a long and gradual process. But, is “hatred” really something that we just need to put in the fate of time?
Over the years, I realized that pain is already part of our life. If the pain isn’t essential, it will not exist at all. There are many types of pain – physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, and more, but I want to focus on one of the most critical type of pain that usually breaks the heart of many – Emotional Pain.
The reason why I call it “most critical” is because it directly affects our heart, and if the heart has been affected, almost every detail of your life gets affected as well – your body’s response, how you deal with others, how you speak, etc.
Many things hurt us – situations, strangers, our parents, our teachers, our siblings, our job, our boss, the traffic, the weather, and many others. We hold no control of whoever hurts us, but we have the control of how we respond and start the process of healing. So how do you start healing after a painful situation in your life?
Forgive – Forgiveness is probably the hardest part of the healing process because we always want to take this as a two way process, which means one has to apologize and one has to accept the apology, and then the healing process begins. You know what? That’s the exact opposite. What makes it harder for people to reconcile is a funny thing we call “Pride”. It makes it harder for people to accept the fact that everyone is bound to commit mistakes and it also makes it harder for people to move on.
One of the most priceless gifts we received and currently enjoying today is the gift of forgiveness brought about by the death of Jesus on the cross. It is the very reason why I am able to write today, why I am able to enjoy every single day of my life, why I am able to come boldly before God, and the very reason why I was able to forgive one of the most hurtful moment of a break up seven years ago. It is because of that death that I learn to reconcile, and learn to love others despite the differences. Sometimes, we don’t need people to apologize for what they did wrong. Sometimes, we just have to appreciate what has happened on that cross because this is what enables us to forgive others, love others, and heal whatever bothers.
The Lord declared the comprehensive cleansing power of the Atonement when He said, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” Isaiah 1:18